Who can turn the world on with her smile? Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? Who doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about? Does this help:
Ok, if you still don’t know what I’m talking about, you are clearly not 50 or anywhere close to it, and you missed out on one of the greatest television shows ever. So go figure it out on youtube.
Minnesota has over 10,000 lakes, and thanks to the Mall of America, the state has well over 10,000 shops, all under one roof. Well, ok, maybe not that many, but we were awestruck when we visited the Mall. Two enormous parking garages sit at the corners, along with a huge bus terminal that brings folks in from the slew of hotels across the street. We visited both ways to have the full experience. We tackled the parking garage and tested our memories by needing to remember five things to find our car: Georgia, 2 , East, A, 6. Here’s the garage — do you see our spot?
While we waited for the shuttle bus, we were thankful to be visiting in the summer, so we didn’t need to push the button:
So here’s the thing about the Mall of America. We really wanted to hate the place and be able to spout off about how it represents the worst of American materialism. We wanted to take the high road and look down our noses at all those shopping bags full of useless garbage, blah, blah, blah. Well, don’t tell anyone, but the truth is: we kinda liked the place. Sure, it was completely artificial and filled with nothing but places to separate you from your money. But it was just kind of…..fun. I mean, in addition to all the stores (and I do mean all the stores — you’d be hard pressed to name a major store that isn’t represented there), you’ll find a zillion restaurants, an amusement park, an aquarium, a mini-golf course, and plenty of places to stroll or racewalk, all under one gigantic roof in climate-controlled comfort.
And I didn’t even mention the people watching! There’s just something about the place — everyone seems so happy! I guess the reality of their busted bank accounts doesn’t hit until they get back home. So, if any of you want to meet for a weekend of reckless, pointless spending, you just let us know. There is one store I refuse to visit, though. I won’t buy a t-shirt from the Mall of America store.
The Mall sits on the outskirts of Minneapolis, a very hip, cool city filled with hip, cool people. We fit right in. We had lovely weather, despite the fact that we missed Minnesota’s one week of summer. Those 10,000 lakes are very conveniently located just about everywhere you look. We rented a peddle-boat on Lake Harriet, which is close enough to downtown to be visited by office workers during their lunch breaks. Life is just a bowl of cherries in Minneapolis.
Our friend Chuck is a Minnesota native who gave us lots of great recommendations, including Minehaha Falls, a scenic waterfall near the beginning of the Mississippi river. We have to agree with Chuck that the falls are beautiful but the name is the main attraction. Ha ha.
Charming neighborhoods abound. Minneapolis seems like a great place to live — except for the part about pushing the button. We also drove through Chuck’s hometown of Waconia, just as the sun was setting. Once again, charming neighborhoods and a peaceful lake. Very welcoming and picturesque. Here you go, Chuck:
Leaving Minneapolis, we stopped at Betty’s Pies, which sells the best pies you will ever taste in your life. Ever. We ate some at the restaurant, and took a few pieces with us. Strawberry-rhubarb, 5-layer chocolate, pecan, raspberry-rhubarb, and Great Lakes fruit — made with five fruits found near the five Great Lakes: apple, rhubarb, strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry.
But that’s not even the best part — Betty makes a pie shake. An entire piece of pie goes into the blender along with milk and ice cream. We tried 5-layer raspberry cream whipped up. It was beyond divine. Nevermind that it nearly threw us into a diabetic coma and may have permanently clogged our arteries. It was truly heaven on earth.
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Our travels took us along highways I – 35, 90, 494, and highway 169 and 60. We were anxious to see a bit of northern Minnesota, and we made it as far as Duluth, which is up there a ways. Duluth sits on the shores of Lake Superior, the largest freshwater lake in the world.
There’s a reason they call them the Great Lakes. The size of Lake Superior is mind-boggling. It really seemed as if we were looking at the ocean — and we saw less than 1% of the lake! And you talk about COLD! The water is frigid, but we put our toes in it.
We learned quite a bit about the Great Lakes at the freshwater aquarium in Duluth. It is located near an interesting bridge that raises to let ships pass. Some parts of Duluth are fairly industrial, considering it is an enormous port city. The sight of all that activity led the youngest member of our group to dub Duluth as being rather “factorialized”.
Notice how the bottom of the bridge rises and lowers in one piece.
It’s not often that you eat a bag of Doritos with a fork, but that’s exactly what you’ll do if you have a Walking Taco. We’d seen these in other mid-Western states, and finally sampled one from Crabby Bill’s (the restaurant, not the husband). Here’s the recipe: cut open a bag of Doritos and throw taco meat, cheese and lettuce on top. Now eat while walking.
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They do things in a big way in Minnesota, and nothing is bigger than the Jolly Green Giant. The tiny town of Blue Earth is home to a Jolly Green Giant vegetable processing plant, and in the 1970s, they created their own special tribute to the big guy.
We were sorry to miss the town’s annual scarfing ceremony. I figured this was a time for all the townspeople to gather and chow down on peas and corn. No, it’s the time they adorn the Giant with a red scarf to keep him warm during the cold Minnesota winter.
I realized after we left that I forgot to take a picture of the Giant from behind. Apparently his backside was the subject of considerable debate when the statue was created, because no one had actually ever seen him from the back before. I had planned to share this view with you, but alas, with all the excitement of seeing the Giant up close and personal, I forgot. But then I decided that, this is one of those extremely special things that just must be seen in person. We went to considerable effort to see the Jolly Green Giant’s backside, so you’ll just have to earn that view yourselves.
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Travel Tip! Try to refrain from pointing out interesting names of towns you pass through when those names just happen to also be the names of large vehicles. If, for example, you happen to see a sign welcoming you to the town of Winnebago, try not to exclaim loudly, “Winnebago!”, when your spouse is behind the wheel and about to make a left turn across a busy street. The spouse might mistakingly believe that a large motorhome is heading directly at you. He might not appreciate the humor in the situation. And neither will you, if a traffic accident ensues.
13. Minnesota
Minneapolis Sculpture Garden